Why is My Baby SO Restless in Bed? The Truth About ‘Light Sleep’

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May 5
6 min read

By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert

If your toddler spends the night tossing, turning, and somehow managing to elbow you in the ribs without waking up—this post is for you.

It’s one of the most common concerns I hear from families: “My child is not sleeping well at night—they’re constantly moving around and never seem fully rested.”

Honestly, you're not alone, and most importantly, you’re not doing anything wrong. As a certified pediatric sleep consultant, I’ve helped hundreds of families navigate the challenges of restless sleep in toddlers. And this blog post is here to help you understand exactly what's going on—and what you can do to help your child finally get the sleep they need.

Understanding Restless Sleep in Toddlers

Let’s start by breaking down what we mean by “restless sleep.” When your baby is constantly shifting, changing positions, or popping up in your bed multiple times a night, it might feel like they’re not ever in a deep sleep. That’s because… they likely aren’t.

Toddlers naturally cycle through stages of deep and light sleep, but when they're overly reliant on external comforts—like your presence in bed—they struggle to fully relax into deeper sleep stages. This light sleep leads to frequent nighttime wakeups and an overall lack of restfulness, for them and you.

There are two key categories I look at when a parent brings up their child’s restless sleep: medical and behavioral.

Could There Be a Medical Cause?

Before diving into behavior-based sleep training, it’s important to acknowledge that restless sleep could sometimes be linked to sleep-disordered breathing. This includes conditions like:

Mouth breathing (the times outside of colds or stuffy noses)
Enlarged tonsils or adenoids
Sleep apnea

If your child snores, breathes heavily through their mouth at night, or wakes frequently gasping, it’s worth checking in with a pediatric ENT (ear, nose, and throat specialist) or a sleep medicine doctor. Trust your gut—especially as a parent. Because you know your child best.

That said, many times, restless sleep is not medical at all—it’s behavioral. And that’s precisely where I come in.

When Behavior (and Bedtime Habits) Are the Culprit

More often than not, restless sleep in toddlers stems from how a child is falling asleep at bedtime—and what they’ve come to associate with sleep.

Hear me out:

When I begin working with a new family, we always start with a Discovery Call. This isn’t just a quick Q&A—it’s a chance for us to connect, for me to understand what’s happening in your home, and for you to get a clear picture of how my approach works.

During this call, we talk about:

Your child’s current sleep habits
What your family’s nighttime routine looks like
What your goals are for sleep (whether that’s better naps, fewer night wakings, or simply everyone staying in their own bed!)
And most importantly—what your child’s sleep baseline is

And let me tell you…One of the most common things I hear is this: “It just seems like my child is never in a deep sleep. They’re constantly moving, like they can’t get comfortable.”

When I gently dig a little deeper and ask how they know this, parents usually tell me something like: “Well… they sleep in bed with me. So I feel it all night long.”

And I get it. You’re right there next to them. You see them fidget, flop around, try to find their “comfy spot,” and that moment—the “elbow in the rib” moment—is so relatable for so many parents I speak to.

If this sounds like your home too, I want you to know this: There is an explanation. Your child isn’t doing this on purpose. They’re not “bad sleepers.” They just don’t yet have the skills to sleep deeply and independently.

What's Happening Beneath the Restlessness?

Here’s the deal: when a child falls asleep next to a parent, especially during the toddler years, they’re often relying on that physical presence to feel safe enough to drift off. But what ends up happening is they stay in lighter stages of sleep, because some part of their little brain is subconsciously checking to make sure you're still there.

So even if their eyes are closed and they seem asleep, they may be spending more of the night in REM (light) sleep, instead of the deep, restorative sleep that their body and brain need.

This means:

They wake more easily
They toss and turn
They may appear uncomfortable
And they often wake multiple times through the night without being fully conscious

The result? A restless child. A tired parent. And a bedtime routine that feels more like a guessing game than a predictable pattern.

A Familiar Story: Restless Nights in a Shared Bed

Let me tell you about a family I worked with. They described their nightly routine with their 2.5-year-old: bedtime meant lying down together until the child fell asleep—sometimes quickly, sometimes taking up to an hour. Once asleep, the parent would leave the room… but by midnight, their toddler was awake and in their bed.

What followed was an unpredictable pattern—sometimes walking them back, sometimes giving in. Most nights, the child ended up in the parents' bed, where the real restlessness began. They described constant movement, shifting, and searching for that “comfy spot”—even while still technically asleep.

What we discovered was simple but powerful:

The child hadn’t learned to fall asleep independently. Instead of settling into deep sleep, they stayed in light sleep, subconsciously checking for a parent’s presence. That elbow in your rib? It’s not just about finding comfort—it’s how your child knows, at a subconscious level, that you’re still there. And since they never fully drift into deep sleep, they’re more prone to waking up throughout the night.

So when they do fully wake up around midnight—when all of us naturally transition between sleep cycles—they’re disoriented, unsettled, and unsure of where they are or what to expect

And this is where sleep training for toddlers comes in—not as a punishment or strict routine, but as a loving, consistent way to help them feel secure in their own sleep space.

Why Independent Sleep Is the Game-Changer

Here’s the truth: independent sleep isn’t about crying it out.It’s about teaching your child that they are capable of falling asleep without needing someone next to them. This helps reduce toddler sleep problems, improves the depth of their sleep, and lessens their nighttime wakeups.

Two of my favorite methods include:

The Chair Method (https://www.yourzenbabysleep.com/post/gradually-sleep-training-your-child-using-the-chair-method) – Stay in the room while your child falls asleep and gradually move farther away over time.
Timed Checks (https://www.yourzenbabysleep.com/post/gradually-sleep-training-your-child-using-timed-checks) – Offer brief, reassuring check-ins at intervals to help them build trust and independence.

These methods help your child build confidence and trust in their bedtime routine and environment. And guess what? They also help YOU reclaim your evenings and your own rest.

Still Wondering How to Help Baby Sleep Better?

If your toddler’s sleep feels chaotic, unpredictable, or just exhausting—you’re not alone. And the good news? There’s so much you can do to turn things around.

Whether you’re dealing with sleep regression signs, new transitions (like a toddler bed), or you’re just plain tired of those 3 a.m. wakeups, I’m here to help.

Together, we can create a plan that works for your family—without judgment, guilt, or unrealistic expectations.

Ready to Get Started?

✨ I’d love to support you. If this post resonated with you, here’s how we can take the next step together:

Book a Free Discovery Call with me: yourzenbabysleep.com/book-a-call Learn more about my sleep programs: yourzenbabysleep.com Join me on Instagram: @yourzenbabysleep

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Did you know? I also host a weekly Q&A on my Instagram. Tune in or send me a DM on the 'gram!

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I work with families one-on-one all the time who are experiencing issues with their babies' naps, overnight sleep, and more. If this sounds like you, please book a 15-minute sleep assessment call just so I can understand a little bit more about your child's sleep and then explain ways that I can work one-on-one with you to get it in order.

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