My partner Isn't on Board with Sleep Training: How to Navigate Sleep Training Together

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Jul 23
4 min read

By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert

Ah, sleep training… It is one of those topics that can spark some serious debate in households. There is so much information out there; sometimes, it can feel like a battlefield when both parents don't agree on the best approach. It is a common struggle, and it can be worked through with understanding and a little strategy.

As a lead certified pediatric sleep expert at Your Zen Baby Sleep, I have worked with countless families struggling with this exact issue. Today, we are going to talk about what you can do when your partner isn't okay with sleep training and how to find a way to move forward together to help your baby sleep better—and the whole family, too!

Understand Why Your Partner Might Disagree with Sleep Training

Navigating sleep training as a couple is challenging for a number of reasons. For one, you and your partner likely grew up with different parenting styles. You may come from two different households, with two different sets of values and ideas around sleep. Some families swear by co-sleeping, while others lean towards crib sleeping. So, when it comes to decisions like sleep training methods, it can feel like you're on opposite teams.

Then, there's the emotional side of things. The biggest reason many parents are hesitant about the sleep training process is the crying. It could be the fear of hearing their baby cry or just a discomfort with the idea; some parents simply cannot get comfortable with it. It is a tough choice. But understanding that a bit of crying is often a part of the process can help ease some of that discomfort.

The Impact of Sleep Deprivation on Parents

Another issue that causes disagreements is sleep deprivation. Parenting - especially in those first few months and years, is exhausting. Often, it is the mom who bears the brunt of sleep deprivation, but it can affect dads too. When one partner is up multiple times during the night with the baby, it can lead to tension and reluctance to commit to sleep training.

One partner may not fully understand the toll it takes on the other, especially if they are not experiencing it themselves. This can be frustrating. Hence, it is crucial to communicate openly about the emotional and physical strain that sleep deprivation can cause.

Get on the Same Page

So how do you get on the same page about sleep training? First things first, you must have a calm conversation about it. Talk about your concerns and listen to each other's perspectives. Sometimes, it helps to sit down in a neutral place, away from the kids and the chaos of daily life, to discuss your thoughts. Bringing in a mediator, like a therapist, to help facilitate the conversation, especially if emotions run high, can be very helpful.

It is also important to bring reliable resources into the discussion. If one partner is unsure about navigating sleep training, do some research together. Look at expert advice, like YouTube videos from sleep experts or articles from trusted sleep consultants. The more information you have, the more confident you both can feel about your decision.

Consistency Is Key

This by far is one of the most important things in the sleep training process. Consistency! Both partners must be on the same page and stick to the plan. If one person is hesitant, they need to be open to trying it for a set amount of time—say, three weeks. The key is consistency in implementing the consistent bedtime routine and sticking with it.

Irrespective of whether the method you are using involves a little crying or one that doesn't, both parents need to commit to it 100%.

It is a Team Effort

Remember, sleep training isn't just about teaching your baby how to sleep. It is more about working as a team to set healthy sleep habits that benefit everyone. A peaceful, well-rested family is the goal here. So, even if your partner has doubts, let them know that this is a decision you are making together—for the benefit of your child and your family.

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Sleep Training

As with any parenting journey, sleep training is a bit of a roller coaster. There will be progress, and there will be setbacks. Some nights will be smooth, others might feel like a regression; but throughout it all, you will have to support each other. Your partner and you are in this together, and your child will be learning important skills. Be patient, stick to the plan, and celebrate the small wins along the way.

Sleep is Priority. Period.

At the end of the day, sleep training is all about giving your baby the sleep they need for their growth and development. Sleep is essential for their brain, immune system, hormone production, and overall well-being. Sciences supports this, time and time again. And although baby sleep can be a challenge, the results: better sleep for everyone! And so worth it.

Conclusion

If you are still struggling to get your partner on board with sleep training, remember that compromise is necessary. It is okay if you don't love the idea at first, but be open to giving it a try. Set a time limit—maybe three weeks—and be consistent with the sleep training method you choose.

You are not alone in this process. Many families go through the same struggles and come out the other side stronger. If you need extra support along the way, don't hesitate to book a free discovery call with me. I'd love to help you get your baby (and your family) sleeping soundly through the night.

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I work with families one-on-one all the time who are experiencing issues with their babies' naps, overnight sleep, and more. If this sounds like you, please book a 15-minute sleep assessment call just so I can understand a little bit more about your child's sleep and then explain ways that I can work one-on-one with you to get it in order.

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